AURAS

One of those rare two-aura migraine days. Had one this morning which kept me in bed and barely moving all morning and afternoon. I can barely function for hours, it’s like I had a fucking stroke or something. I don’t make any sense on the phone and want to be left alone. Usually I only get the ocular version, all aura and no headache, just the instantaneous feeling of having some colossal hangover for about twelve hours.

In some display of Taurean stubbornness I was determined to leave my prison after feeling a tad better. So I went out that evening to try and swim downtown. Maybe it was the cold or the harshness of the car lights, regardless I had another shortly after getting off the train in Columbus Circle. This was by far the worst. I sat in the YMCA cafeteria half blind and in a daze. When it finally passed I could only muster a 1000yds before a bastard of a headache had me out of the pool and on one of the most difficult subway rides home yet. Total pain and absolutely nothing to do for comfort.

I look at them as my head clearing itself of negative energy, a purging of some sort of brain blockage. Lord knows I’ve done everything to prevent them in terms of diet, etc. They come when they want to, and afterwards for a day I’m a bit out of it but find I’m free and clear, able to make decisions more clearly and generally unobstructed by problem thinking. One has to look at the positive side of these things if you’re going to have them your whole life as I have. I’m just grateful I only have them a few times a year and life is impossibly sweet when they’re over.