SWIMMING

Reasonably priced at around five American dollars, the pool facilities here are what you'd expect from a country like this—superb. I think most Canadian facilities and a handful of American ones come close to the anal-retentive attention given to the cleanliness of these facilities. Sexes have their own locker rooms and every individual has their own private changing closet that you enter on one side a main area and enter the locker/shower portion from the other. After entering the locker area bare feet are mandatory and require a rinse off in a special foot-shower section before going on deck.

Both pools I’ve swam at, the Piscine des Vernets, which is 50m and the Piscine de Varembé, strangely measured 33m (only swam in one other like that in Wellington, NZ) both pools are six lanes with two or three lanes are reserved for lap swimming with no noticeable differentiation on speed or ability, though when I went swimming on Thursday at the 50m pool a club was doing a masters workout and they were pretty fast. I’ve been showing up before, during and after the lunch hours, so it's important to note here that the Swiss take their lunches seriously, often closing up shop from 12-1:30, so like most places in the USA the pool gets more crowded, only here it's on this level of absurdity that combined with the no-holds-barred swimming free for all is beyond my limited comprehension.

Both pools have bonus 25m outdoor pools and since I didn't really know about them last week I decided to swim in the outdoor pool today Piscine de Varembé. This pool has no lane lines which I knew in advance and was hoping for some space away from the hoards of cruising biking lad breastrokers and sloppy freestylers. Lucky me, even though it was noon I had section to myself, but it wasn't particularly warm today and the water is a bit chilly at 73 degrees. Regardless, it was perfect and the water was crystal clear. I got about a mile finished before a legion of people filled the pool and I was somewhat prepared since I had slipped into an open area near a lane on Friday when the 33m had nine slow swimmers in it at once and was able to have a decent workout by swimming next to the lane line. Today I was mobbed and nothing could prepare me for being surrounded by four people in the space of about one lane, swimming directly at each other and myself with the strategy of swerving out of the way when someone happens to be heading towards them. This organizational nightmare is considered the norm in a country that basically runs perfect like the those fancy timepieces made here. No one seemed to mind because no one was really trying all that hard. So there I was in my pirate-skull swim cap attempting get a work out in but really only on alert the whole time because wherever I was, someone was either coming at me or right next to me. I don't know what the miracle is that keeps people from colliding in massive heaps and injuring one another, but I was getting chilly and had just about enough when another guy decided to climb in thinking the six-inch space between me and the woman next to me was just perfect for him to squeeze into.

So I get my shit and head indoors planning to finish in those lap lanes and the crowd there at around 10 per lane is pretty overwhelming too. I should mention no one talks to each other at all, it's pretty much everyone for themselves, so the social scene is about nil unless you're one of the old people having social time in the open area. People were passing each other all over the place and I gave up trying to make sense of it. Lunch hour was passing so I hoped things would clear out. I just got in and tried to make the best of it. Like lap swimming back home most of the time no one allows faster swimmers to pass at the walls so I was doing the same perpetually passing-all-the-time shit too, finding it mostly impossible to get Zen and have a good meditation. I finished my distance (about 3.5k) and got the hell out, taking the time to watch an instructor giving lessons to people that looked like the blind leading the blind.

So the news is that lap swimming is probably a crapshoot wherever you go, though I think the Aussies were the most organized.