MONSOON

Even though it was sunny and hot (generally miserable) when I left the home studio this afternoon for a swim in SoHo, I had this hunch I should bring my umbrella. Four interesting things happened after I left the gym.

1. Whilst standing under an awning in front of a bookstore staying out of the torrential downpour, simultaneously looking at bookcovers in the window display and talking on the phone, I heard a strange mumbling behind me. The content was never clear but it sounded salacious and I turned around to see this huge black man standing behind me making what I assumed was some kind of fucked-up sexual propositions to me. I moved away and he wandered over and just when I was about to tell him to fuck off he walked away, muttering some more weird shit.

2. A block or two later, rain still coming down in buckets and my cheapo umbrella doing the best it can, i’m standing on a corner and turn to see this skinny young thing so totally drenched I can see her breasts and she smiles and laughs. I share my umbrella with her half a block having this brief flirty little conversation until I have to duck into the Mac store to get a power converter for my trip to Switzerland, so we say goodbye.

3. I leave the Mac store—which is filled with iPhone freakoids—emptyhanded and block or two later decide to get a pedicure and end up having the shop owner make all sorts of weird passes at me, which was a whole lot of butter my customer muffin since I was the only one there.

4. I head over to Thompson to get some delicious chicken at Pluck U and this woman is standing in front of her apartment looking at this little sparrow hanging out on the ground in front of her building:

Her: What’s wrong with this bird?

Me: Maybe it’s sick, birds don’t live all that long, I’ve seen this before. If you want to be compassionate put it in a towel and in a box and put it in your freezer to put it out of it’s misery, otherwise a cat will get it (though I’ve never even seen a cat running around in the city) or something will run over it.

Her: You want to do this?

Me: Sounds like your project for the evening.

Her: I can’t, I have friends coming in from Antwerp.

Me: Then it seems like you’ll all have a project for the evening.

And I split to get some delicious chicken.