DOUBTS ARE COOL

Cara cut my hair with my new clippers. A strange, uneven morning. First time I’ve felt like maybe this is a bad idea. Like I felt in Sydney. “What the fuck did I just do?!” Is this worth it? The waiting, all the waiting and half starts. Too many people. Everyone vying for the same things. The patience. Endless patience. And what about my own place? Renting here isn’t like Seattle where you go apartment hunting for three hours and find something perfect AND rent it. It’s insane here. It fits my insanity but it competes at the same time. A run seemed to help but it was a lousy run. Actually the run was redeemed by sighting some sort of hawk flying over the bike path and perching in a low tree. Stopped to watch it for a minute. No one else noticed. Went to the movies later on. Little Children. Excellent. Affirming. Temperature drop. Snow in the North. Pop’s surgery has gone well.

Saw the actor Josh Hamilton over by Lincoln Plaza.