BOTTLES AND BUSHES

As hip and with it as this place is, Cara and I have noticed a couple of things that haven’t caught on yet.

One of them is that there’s no Nalgene bottle mania like you have in Seattle. People just don’t lug large, indestructible containers around like teddy bears here. It’s probably not cool enough. They drink the Triple Grande Lattes like they’re going out of style, but drinking water that isn’t bottled is a major faux pas.

The other thing stems from a conversation with a fellow I will call Carl, who I’ve made friends with. He’s a nice, retired guy, married, with grown kids, and he swims in the afternoons like I do. I still haven’t figured him out, like whether he’s one of these married but gay types, or bisexual, or just curious about things, but he’s rather forward and because I’m the kind of guy who likes to answer questions, I guess he thought it was no big deal to ask my why I shave my goods.

“Is this a West Coast thing?”

“I have no idea, I’ve been doing it for about ten years.”

“Is it part of that whole metro-sexual thing?”

“Too tell you the truth I’m a groomy kind of guy, I’m trim my nails and get pedicures, so it’s just part of the deal.”

“We’ll you know, the gays here are going to be keeping their eyes on you.”

“Like I haven’t noticed.”

The funny thing is I first started doing this about a decade ago when I was desperately trying to have a threeway with a couple I met online who requested shaved only. Immediately I went to work, bought clippers and came up with style and everything. I was pretty proud of my new doo, but I suppose they weren’t impressed and nothing ever transpired. Needless to stay I just kept on doing it, and for the most part, at least in Seattle and porn films it’s not that big a deal for a guy to shave his nuts and stuff.

That said, and after my conversation with Carl, I realized I’m the only guy in the locker room with the Mohawk cock. Granted, most of the men there are a bit old to even care about such stuff, but the younger fellows haven’t put any thought into such matters and this sorta surprises me.

I asked Cara about women and what she’s noticed on her side of the gym and she says she’s seen some of the biggest bushes ever, like no one has even heard of waxing or trimming. OK, it’s one thing for men not to give a shit, but I would have thought for sure this place was the Brazilian capital of the East Coast. Cara said it’s hard to even find a place that does waxing. In Seattle those boutiques are as prevalent as coffee shops, which of course means a lot of women, and men, are crazy about the smooth. Granted, we’re basing our observations on the YMCA, not the hippest of the clubs, but even in Seattle, not exactly the culture kingdom, I noticed people at the YMCA there were going to the barber.

The other thing I noticed is that almost everyone here uses an umbrella when it rains. Even bums. So none of that, “we’re too cool to care” shit you hear all the time in Seattle. I think Gore-Tex is outlawed here. It’s right up there with Nalgene bottles in this strictly urban environment.

Which reminds me, the only other person to ask me about my doo was a old Chinese man a the downtown YMCA (once again the YMCA is the place for cock talk) who had recently come to the States and wanted to make sure he was getting in with the cultural norms. I told him it wasn't required to be an American.